femmejosephine | For Cole: The future is now

The last couple of weeks had been possibly the worst she had experienced in Darrow. It wasn't anything to do with the job or her flat or anything like that, which was what it might have been before. It was almost always the job before.

The problem was the little stone balls that she couldn't seem to escape. The first time she'd touched one, she'd seen herself as Operations. She wasn't sure how she knew that from just a brief glimpse, but she did. She was standing in the Perch and she looked hard and cold. She looked like Operations. It was the very last thing she wanted to be, but yet she was.

The second time, she'd seen herself shooting Michael. She'd seen him die at her hands, and seen him mouth, "Je t'aime" as his eyes closed. She hadn't known how she killed him or why, but she had, and the betrayal on his face was terrible. His hair had been a different style and she'd had a different weapon, a newer one.

The third time, she'd seen herself in a hospital bed with tubes running everywhere. She seemed to be in a coma, although she couldn't see any physical damage. On the other hand, she'd been covered by a blanket, so who knew? The worst or possibly best part was her mother, bending over her to kiss her. She recognized Roberta, even though she hadn't seen her in at least ten years. Roberta looked much better. She might have actually gotten help. Why couldn't that have happened before Nikita apparently nearly died?

She'd heard from her colleagues at Bondurant's that this kind of thing had been happening. Lots of people had seen what might be their futures, but a lot of them said things about children and grandchildren and money and joy. Hers only showed pain and loss. It fit with her life, but she didn't like it. She wasn't sure if she could handle seeing another future. She'd got rid of the stone ball she bought, and she hoped that was enough, but she wasn't confident of that. She sank heavily onto her couch and put her head in her hands, closing her eyes in frustration and grief.

There wasn't really a sound or a feeling, but suddenly she knew she'd been moved. She was somewhere else, on a couch that felt different, and there was a warm body touching her from shoulder to knee. She didn't look up, though. At this point she almost didn't want to know where she was and what had happened now, although she also felt her instincts sharpen and adrenaline flow in case there was a fight.

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"But still different," he prompts. He finally voices what his tone has always suggested: "If you don't want to talk about it, I won't push. But I'll listen, if you need an ear."

It was kind of him to offer, and she could hear from his tone that he meant it. He'd meant it a few times before, actually. Unfortunately for her but fortunately for his ability to sleep at night, she couldn't explain a lot of her life.

"I appreciate the offer, but there are things I can't talk about. Things I might never be able to talk about," she told him honestly. "It's not so much that I don't want to, although part of it is that. It's more that if I say anything, you'll be in danger."

That sounded dramatic and she knew it, but it was true. And the risk wasn't just from Section. Any of Sections' enemies would be glad to have a friend of an operative to torture.

"As far as I can tell, the people that would come after you aren't in Darrow, but if any of them ever arrive, we're both at risk. If you want to walk away, knowing that, I don't blame you."

She hoped he didn't. She really hoped he didn't. On the other hand every preservation instinct that he had probably told him to do it, though, and she truly wouldn't blame him if he did.

Cole listens to her speak, face neutral, and he waits until she's finished to react. When he does, it's to look up at her, one eyebrow raised in something edging towards amusement.

"Human taser," he reminds. He lifts the hand farthest from her and lets electricity crackle over it, and maybe Nikita can feel it reverberate like a lightning strike across a field, in the hand on her shoulder.

"No matter what's thrown at us, I think we can handle it." Unlike Nikita, Cole isn't used to measuring his words. The 'us' slips right out.

Where was the us from? She was pretty sure he didn't mean it the way it sounded, since they were only recently friends. Well, maybe not recent friends. She was always slow with her friendships, but she supposed they'd probably been friends for a few months now.

The feeling of the electricity jolting through his body was interesting. It was almost a pins and needles feeling, even from just being pressed against him lightly.

"They made Gray, the last guy I dated, disappear. He had a five year old daughter," she warned him. She wasn't absolutely sure Gray had been killed, but she was fairly certain of it. He'd been a loose end and Operations hated those.

"The human taser thing might actually be an extra risk for you. I don't trust any of them not to use that against you somehow. And some of them can be very creative."

"I was dead back home, remember?" he points out. "Not only do I not have anything left to lose, but I also am not afraid of dying. Took on the Beast. Saved the world. You're not scaring me off, Nikita. And neither are they." Whoever 'they' are. Even as he says it firmly, there's still a gentleness there, like he wants to make sure he doesn't upset her in his assertiveness.

She half-smiled at his stubborn insistence that he wasn't giving up on their friendship. It was nice of him, but she didn't completely believe him. There were very few people in the world that could withstand the Torture Twins, if Madeline unleashed them. And they were the "good guys".

"It's a bit funny, you know," she said instead, in a conversational tone. "You being a human taser. At one point, someone used electricity on me. Wet sponges attached to car batteries applied to wet bare skin hurt."

Edited 2015-04-30 03:12 (UTC)

Cole winces on her behalf. "Jesus. I mean, I can't lie, I think it'd just juice me up, but still." He can imagine it being applied to a normal human. He's accidentally electrocuted people. "Is this one of those 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' things, or 'what doesn't kill you pisses you off'?"

She chuckled at the two options he presented. And at the way he admitted that he'd probably enjoy that since it would give him more power.

"It was supposed to be 'what doesn't kill you will make you tell me what I want to know', but it just pissed me off instead," she admitted. "I can be a bit stubborn sometimes."

And she hadn't told them what they wanted to know, either.

"No way," he says with a grin. "You? Stubborn?" He shakes his head. "I don't believe that for a minute." He grins, totally being sarcastic in an effort to lighten the mood.

Cole had traits of Birkoff and Walter in different moments, and yeah, maybe she shouldn't compare one friend to another, but she missed both those guys. She'd love to see them again. Why couldn't her future have showed her something involving them rather than what she'd seen? It would have to be another Section future since they were just as trapped as she had been, as she would be if she ever went back or Section ever arrived here. It would be worth it to see them again, though.

"Yeah, yeah," she rolled her eyes, and she did feel a little better now. It was probably the combination of the human contact and the determined understanding that Cole was showing. Of course, that only went so far and she was pretty sure it'd change if he knew more about Section and what she'd done for them, but it was nice while it lasted.

"My choices for most of my life have been stubborn or dead. Stubborn is the better option."

Edited 2015-05-13 01:34 (UTC)

For Cole: The future is now

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